In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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