Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
