so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
