If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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