Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
