If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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