Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I don't want my vagina anymore.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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