Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize