margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
