Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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