I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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