I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
