how can u be prego again
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize