Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize