i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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