that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Randomize
