So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
