I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
