sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
