my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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