stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
