it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
