As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
