We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
