i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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