I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
