I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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