Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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