he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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