there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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