You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
