Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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