How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
