I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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