shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
