woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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