If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize