good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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