Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
i now understand why vodka
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
