I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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