just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
