Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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