my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
