I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize
