That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
