a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
