His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
