please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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