the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
