Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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