if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
