he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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