i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
