at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
