Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Less talking, more tequila
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
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