I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
