Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
i believe in u and ur pee
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
