she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
