She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
this boner is exhausting
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
