she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
