when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
