im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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