She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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