I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
