Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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